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Pages: How do I do this... [1]
Author Topic: How do I do this...
Edmond

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Posts: 51

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2015-06-23 0-47-35-

How do I do this... I am wondering if I should separate. We have been expereiencing a lot of strain on the relationship. It is mostly due to finances. I know most marriages disinegrate due to this but the strain I am under is a lot. We were both married before and amicably left our spouses (not for each other though) so this marriage is important to the both of us. He has not been working and the pressure I feel is great right now. I am paying all of the bills and he seems content to let me do this. He doesn't seem to want to find work or do anything else but sit at home. In my mind, this is not what I signed on for. I have been supportive in the past when this has occurred but it seems like we are in a cycle here. It takes him months to find work and because the economy is what it is it is taking much longer. I don't even want to touch him because my head is not into it or him. This is becoming more of a roommate situation than a marriage. I am the designated driver of everything and have been for the length of the relationship. This is something he is comfy with my doing and when I ask for help I get nothing. I feel single but married since I am doing everything a single person would be doing on her own but dating and going out with friends. What would you do?? I have tried the strong arm approach and the tender appraoch nothing works. I've given everything but the kitchen sink to this and feel like i am beating my head against the wall trying to get some assistance. Mentally I am x/x of the way out the door...
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dichiara

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Posts: 74

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2015-07-24 1-24-24-

For BETTER OR WORSE - RICHER OR POORER - TO LOVE AND TO seniors looking adults friends TILL PARTED BY DEATH!!! These words should be totally omitted from the "vows" as it's a HUGE FREAKIN FARCE! This is why I'll never get married - nobody has any word and gives up as soon as things don't quite go to their liking. Morals, Ethics and Values have been watered down to a different meaning. You are an example of why I wouldn't seniors looking adventure dating as you at least give up the ship when you don't like something and are pouting like a x year old seniors looking advice dating who didn't get their way. How do you know that he's not looking for work - I betcha he does look ONLINE and hasn't found anything. Don't you remember that we're in a recession!!!! Jobs are not plentiful and NOT easy to acquire! BTW: I live in NJ too and many females have totally taken advantage of the liberal seniors looking african dating -male laws here that affords them in divorce these days - that doesn't sound like your motivation as he probably doesn't have much in the way of assets for you to conquer. Too many quitters and not much in te way of Gentlemen and Ladies! I can't even females Women because that's reserved for those who act like Ladies.
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  • sosna

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    Posts: 65

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    2015-08-30 19-50-58

    I think not... Since the day we got together I married for love not money. I am the breadwinner and I fully accept that responsibility however, I refuse to be the onlywho contributes financially and in x years it has been that way. I was duped into believing that the hopes and dreams we both wanted would be worked on by both of us. That is not the case. I do understand we are in a recession however I told him it would be harder to get a job now in January when he was out of a job. I asked him to take what was available to make ends meet. He chose to do what he wanted rather than what was best for the family financially leaving that burden to me without any remorse. his only defense was sorry you feel that way...in marriage it should be a team effort. I am playing for our team why shouldn't he, did he not take the same vows...once we get to the place we want to be is he not going to be entitled to reap the rewards. Why is it that because I ask for a little more from teh man of the house I get scolded by you...think twice about situations prior to your scolding people because if the shoe was on the other foot I would be a worthless woman who is gold digging and wanting her man to take care of her. He should be held to the same standards and accountability as I am in this marriage no less. Jobs are there it's all about what you are willing to do to support your family and in a recession where things are scarce yet money is needed....you do what you need to do. Work at a Burger king...it's humiliating however you take solace in knowing you are bringing something to the table as little as that may be don't become content and pigeon hole yourself...why is if ok for him to ask me for a dollar to buy a paper and he is OK with being a seniors looking alternative dating in that sense and not wanting to do for himself...I wanted a husband not a seniors looking alternative singles .
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    allbaugh

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    Posts: 39

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    2015-09-01 0-38-37-

    Not sure... what his problem is. In my head you go to work and help with the bills man or woman you chip in as much as you can to contribute. In the beginning he lost his job...I took it for a fluke ... seniors looking amateur casual sex it...supported him...carried the bills but then it seemed that when he gothe couldn't keep it. it was a cycle job for x mths unemployed for x-x mths...I am all for better or worse but it seems he is ok with having me support our family. It makes me feel a certain way about him being the man of the house. Kinda like I am the man of the house. I have this built up resentment because even though he sees there is no $ things are tight...all but x of my check goes to paying bills if not all he doesn't care to help out. Kinda of like I am supposed to do this. If that was the case why not be alone and do it withless mouth to feed, ya know. I dunno...just tired of feeling like I am a mom to him instead of an equal partner. It's like he wants all the privildeges of husband and man of the house without earning any of them by contributing. Shoot I am reasonable I don't ask for a x/x split but jeezz...knowing i have no $ before i get paid was something i was doing single never imagined being in the same seniors looking amateur couple being married. Never wanted to be rich but I thought shared meant equal participation not let wifey go broke taking out loans trying to make ends meet while i sit back and watch it happen. (ok i am venting now sorry....guess i just needed to get it out)
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  • accola

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    Posts: 52

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    2015-09-08 8-55-47-

    I read your whole post don't worry - you need to vent and it "sucks" that he's the way he is. I don't like divorce but maybe dangling that towards him "might" help if you haven't tried that already. I see marriage as a failure in these times we now live in - allneeds to do is hear and see what's happening all around us pertaining to that. Today it's better to stay single and or live with the same gender (only) roommates or friends.
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    suki

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    Posts: 27

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    2015-10-08 12-59-47

    Show that bum the front door! give me a break, He can't any work at all. Where I live in Boston you cannot walk down any mall or drive down any street without seeing "now hiring" signs everywhere. In seniors looking amateur dating 's the place setting is an employment application that goes with every order. Your "man" is a lazy slug and should be tossed out, yesterday.
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  • sequeira

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    Posts: 46

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    2015-10-21 10-46-45

    tell him to shape the fuck up or get out. then stick to your guns.
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